In our support group this week we talked about healthy and unhealthy relationships. Single moms go through so much and may have several relationships to maintain. These relationships are not just romantic, they are relationships with our children, our own parents, bosses, co-workers and friends. In our group (led by our counseling intern), we all gave words that described healthy and unhealthy relationships to us. One key point that came up was boundaries. We talked about setting boundaries and how those boundaries show and teach people how to treat us. We discussed how a boundary is a like a fence and if we open that fence and let the wrong treatment (or people) in,chaos and hurt can come in right along with them. How do we set and maintain these boundaries? We can pray and ask God to help us see past the masks and performances of people who may not be the best for us. We can ask trusted friends to be truthful with us….even when it hurts. We can also educate ourselves about red flags when it comes to abusive relationships. We also need to keep in mind what defines an unhealthy relationship and when we can use one of those words to describe one of our relationships, change is order. We need to change our perspectives, get our own our hearts healed so we can see a relationship and the person we’re in it with in a realistic light. If that person is our child, we may need to take stock of how we handle them, how we either react or respond to them. Are we on the offensive in our parenting or do we feel as though we always have to be on the defensive? We could go on and on with this subject. We will be addressing it our support group for a few weeks. Next week we will be discussing how to regain and rebuild trust.